AARS is planting our flag on the hill so that more awareness, knowledge, and truth will impact the landscape of the relentless barrage of romance scams happening daily worldwide. Ignorance is not bliss in this instance and can be so costly that some have even taken their own lives as a result. Part of our awareness effort is sharing the most common scammer red flags that experience has taught us.
The Red Flags of Patterns 🚩
Romance scammers often follow similar patterns. Once they reach out to you, scammers will request to move the conversation to an encrypted chat site, such as WhatsApp or Hangouts. But why do they suggest this? Isn’t the platform they initially reached out to you sufficient? If there is one thing we’ve learned along this advocating journey, it is that scammers are not dumb! They know that moving a conversation to an encrypted site, such as the chat apps mentioned above, allows them to delete a conversation with minimal trace of the dialogue ever happening on their end. In other words, if there’s no there there, the crime never happened. Right? Wrong!
AARS always recommends that survivors save all information given, such as names, phone numbers, addresses, account numbers, photos, and anything else the scammer sends them. This information can be pertinent to a future case when reported to the FBI’s Crime Complaint Center site at IC3.gov.
Big Red Scammer Flag: Moving to another platform 🚩
At AARS, we understand that scam survivors often want to forget about the crime and “move on.” When feeling like this, one will delete everything related to the crime, making it significantly challenging to move forward with future criminal justice against the scammer on behalf of their scam.
Our pleas for this blog entry…
- NEVER MOVE A CONVERSATION!
- IF YOU HAVE, DO NOT DELETE ANYTHING!
- REPORT A ROMANCE SCAM TO THE IC3.GOV SITE!
Think of it like this: Romance Scammers want to move you to a place where they can manipulate you without any record, just like any criminal trying to force you to a secluded location. DON’T GO!
Scammer Profiles 🚩
There is no one red flag to follow when proving an account is fake. We want to start with the initial approach.
Scammers most likely will reach out to you first. So, how did they find you? Many times, scammers will go from account to account looking to see if people’s posts are visible to the public, and if they are, it’s like a Thanksgiving feast for them!
So, you got that new friend request, and they are very easy on the eyes. WAIT! DON’T ACCEPT THAT REQUEST! Scammers will ask hundreds of people at one time to “friend” them. Some will accept, most won’t, but a scammer just needs one victim. From there, the scammer will try and start a conversation. Some will engage in the discussion, but most will not. By the end of the scammers’ search, they may have a few potential “clients” (their term, our term is VICTIM). And from there, the scam, i.e., manipulation, begins.
Want to be Friends? 🚩
First, go to their profile and check out their friends list! Do they only (or at least a very high majority) have friends of the opposite sex? When on social media, we most often have our friends, family, and acquaintances of both sexes. They don’t? That is a red flag.
What if their friends are private, and you can’t see who they follow or who follows them? Well, Mr./Ms. Investigator, it is time to dig a little deeper!
First, read the comments left on the photos posted. Do any of these “friends” tag potential scammers in images or comments? Has the account holder tagged any of their friends or family in photos?
Finally, are the comments left on posts inundated with flirting comments or emojis such as hearts, face winks, etc.?
If the account holder is tagged in any photos with friends or family, this indicates that the person is authentic. If all you see are comments of the opposite sex, leaving “mushy” comments and no tags, there’s a higher chance the account is fake. This is an excellent start to confirm that an imposter runs the account.
Just say, “Ah, No Thanks.”
Your second and safest option is not to accept their request. There’s a reason you are already questioning who this person is. Your intuition is far more accurate than what we give it credit. You have gone your whole life without this one person, and taking quick chances with your trust, love, and money is not worth compromising your emotional and financial stability.
Remember, you can never be too sure who is behind the computer screen. Romance scammers will friend people they feel could be an easy target. Always do your homework! Look for flags. What are the tools you can take away?
- Do not accept friend requests from people you do not know in person.
- Keep your social media accounts private.
- Trust your first instincts.
Improper English Red Scammer Flags 🚩
- Incorrect spelling.
- No government document will have spelling errors.
- Capitalization.
- Scammers create forms and do not realize which letters should be capitalized and which should not. For example, the United States of America would NOT be presented in this way on a government form.
- Punctuation.
- Any legal document will have the correct punctuation. Periods should be found at the end of the sentence, commas in the appropriate places, etc.
- Proper English.
- A dead giveaway! Scammers often cannot write a complete, proper English sentence.Â
- Most online romance scammers live in countries where English is not their first language, making it easy for those who speak English correctly to spot them.
I Love You 🚩
What do you think of when you hear “love bombing”? Is it being flooded with roses, receiving lavish gifts from the one person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life? No, neither; love bombing is when a person overwhelms you with anything and everything that melts your heart. They may use terms of endearment such as sweety, honey, and baby. Telling you they love you within a few weeks, and yes, sometimes hours.
Scammers are also professionals at assessing their “target” (that’s you) and offering what they feel their target wants to hear, such as “We can buy a house together,” “You would be the best stepmother or father to my child,” or maybe “you will never have to worry about money again.” Scammers are relentless. Who doesn’t want a Happily Ever After?
The primary weapon used for manipulation is words. Most people who succumb to a romance scam have a love language of “Words of Affirmation.”
When someone has been lonely for some time, maybe in a loveless marriage, or recently experienced a significant loss of a spouse or child, the desire to have someone listen and relate to you can be desirable, making a perfect “recipe” for romance scammers.
Remember that words can be used to lure, manipulate, scare, and hurt; scammers use them all! Don’t deny your intuition or your ability to make sound decisions. Keep your instincts in the forefront; their whisper will be louder than any smooth talker!
The Infamous Red Flag Package 🚩
Scammers like to use stories that result in collecting your information. One example is by saying they need to send you a package. Depending on the story (or script, as the scammers call it), there are multiple reasons why they say they need to send you a package. Here are just a few of those examples:
One way would be for blackmailing purposes. The scammer will search your address on Google Maps and scope the nearby businesses. They will then conduct scare tactics by saying, “I’m watching you from the blue house across the street” or “I watch you drive by the Walmart next to your home.” Putting fear in someone as if they are being watched/stalked.
Some of the most common reasons we’ve come across include sending belongings ahead, valuable assets that must be shipped to a trustworthy person, sending a large amount of money and you can keep a portion if you accept the package for the scammer, and sending expensive artwork that the scammer claims is unable to keep at work.
Consequently, the scammers will document your address and continue to gather additional information such as your birthdate, family members’ numbers, photos, and anything else that can help create accounts for banking, social media, claims (unemployment), you name it. Asking for personal information like this, especially in a new relationship, is a significant scammer flag! Stop and think twice before giving out any of your information to someone you’ve never even met in person.
Whose Money?
Third, they like to threaten not only your life but your family. No holds are barred for a scammer when ” their ” money is threatened. These criminals will say anything to get you to send one more dime. Finally, these scammers mainly use the “package story” because the result will be the item(s) getting held in customs, and they (the scammer) will need you to send money for the package to be released. If you don’t send money to have the box released, the scammer will lose all this money, belongings, or work (whichever goes along with their script).
Fortunately, most scammers are in countries other than yours, and the threats are nothing more. However, nothing is 100%; therefore, if you or your family are ever being threatened or blackmailed, we highly encourage you to report it to your local law enforcement. There, they will make a report or redirect you to the appropriate authorities, who can see your concerns.
Document Scams 🚩
Scammers like to gather your information by providing “government or legal documents” for you to fill out. Often, these are used in Military romance scams, but that doesn’t mean a scammer can’t build a fake form and make a story for any other profession or reason.
If someone ever sends you a document to fill out, and you have never met this person, or it didn’t come from an actual .gov address, DO NOT fill it out. The forms will ask questions such as Full name, social security number, address, phone number, mother’s maiden name, date of birth, banking details, etc.
Forms:
A few forms that we have been made aware of are:
- Â Next of Kin
- Fiancé form
- Shipping information
- Bank requests
- Vacation requests
- Pension formÂ
Once you know this is a scammer, do not delete the documents or anything they may have sent you. You will want to save and report all information to the IC3.gov site. The more proof, the better!
The Home-Sweet-Home Red Flag 🚩
There are several reasons why romance scammers claim their job is far away from their “home.” This gives scammers an array of stories they can use to ask for money without seeming suspicious. Of course, I am not suspicious of those who have never heard of the crime, but keep reading what scammers don’t want you to know.
Usually, the scammer will let you know their name, what they do, and where they are working within the first few messages. This sets the stage for the outlandish stories to come. The scammers use occupations such as a deployed soldier in war, an oil rig worker in the middle of the ocean, a doctor or volunteer doing humanitarian work, or any contracting/engineering job. These are common occupations the scammers use; you also have fake celebrity accounts that claim they are on tour and can’t reach their funds. These are common occupations the scammers use. As ridiculous as these may sound, they are actual descriptions and huge red scammer flags.
So Far From Home
As mentioned above, scammers claim they are far from home because they can spew stories such as not being able to get money from their bank. After all, they are in another country; they need to send a package of personal items or large amounts of cash (bleeding you of money when having to pay for the package to “get out of customs”), they are injured/sick and need their hospital bill paid, they need someone to request and pay for a soldiers vacation (also a great way to gather personal information when you’re filling out a fake military form for the soldier to “come home”).
Just remember that if someone approaches you on social media and claims to be in another country for work or leaving soon for their job, it’s a big red flag. This alone is not a tell-all for scammers. There are several red flags that scammers provide their prey.
Plant Your Flag (But NEVER a white one!)
As you can see, scammers provide several red scammer flags to potential victims. Once you know what to look for, it’s incredible how quickly you pick them up. But not just you; we had to learn them, too, and so do tons of other potential victims.
This is where AARS comes in. Our focus, determination, and drive aim to increase awareness of scam warning signs so that more people can recognize them before falling victim. While we assist victims every week, we believe that raising awareness is one of the most powerful tools we have in this fight against scammers.
